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Krab Borg (transcript)
This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants''episode '"Krab Borg"' from season three, which aired on March 29, 2002. * '''Aaron Springer:' is watching the movie while eating popcorn We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theater presentation of Night of the Robot. * Sam Henderson: while being chased by a giant robot * SpongeBob: Hurry, Gary, the scary robot movie's on. * Gary: Meow. * SpongeBob: What do you mean I shouldn't watch this? Scary movies don't always freak me out. cuts to SpongeBob lying in his bed, whimpering and shivering''What if Mom is a robot? What if Uncle Sherm is a robot? What if Gary is a robot? Gary? ''is sleeping Psst, Gary? Gare-Bear? Gary's eye, causing him to wake up * Gary: Meow. * SpongeBob: Gary, if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right? * Gary: Meow. * SpongeBob: Oh, I've got nothing to worry about. And now to get a good night's sleep. to sleep. Dreams about running from the giant robot from the movie earlier. Scene cuts to the next day at the Krusty Krab, with SpongeBob in the kitchen, panting Robot! Oh my gosh! turns out to be a sack of potatoes, a dust pan and broom, and a bucket Huh? nervously. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs holding down his money on Mr. Krabs' desk * Mr. Krabs: How about a little music to count me money to? on the radio that is next to him * Radio DJ: the radio And now for the #1 song in Bikini Bottom: "Electric Zoo." storyboard directors Jay Lender and Dan Povenmire storyboard artists Chris Headrick, Jim Schumann and Erik Wiese written by Jay Lender, Dan Povenmire and Mark O'Hare beat is heard. Mr. Krabs starts counting his money * Mr. Krabs: Hey, that's pretty catchy. Bee-bee-boo-bop, bee-bee-boo-beep. Yeah, that's not bad. I love this young people's music. cuts to kitchen. A buzzer goes off * SpongeBob: I surrender! Oh. * Squidward: SpongeBob! screams. His hat flies onto Squidward's nose * SpongeBob: Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose? * Squidward: the hat from his nose and puts it back on SpongeBob's head I'm not wearing your hat on my nose! I'm waiting for #17's order! * SpongeBob: #17 -- up a tray with food Krabby Patty and a medium beverage. Course. Sorry Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today. I guess I'm a little bit jumpy. I keep thinking robots are taking over the world, probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world. I even asked Gary if he was a robot! Pretty funny, huh? * Squidward: sarcastically Hilarious. Just deliver the food. * SpongeBob: the food to Thaddeus There you go! Enjoy your... Say, you're not a robot, are you? * Thaddeus: No, I'm not. * SpongeBob: Well, keep your eyes peeled. a deep voice They're everywhere. Back to work! runs away, Thaddeus shrugs his shoulders. SpongeBob walks by Mr. Krabs' office * Mr. Krabs: office I feel completely recharged! * SpongeBob: That sounds like Mr. Krabs. in the window * Mr. Krabs: Come on, little buddy, play it again. his radio Please? One more time, for me. * SpongeBob: That was strange. Mr. Krabs was talking to his radio, and he said he feels "recharged."laughs If I didn't know better, I'd say he was... zooms in on SpongeBob ...a robot! Nah. * Mr. Krabs: the radio station Yes, hello. I was wondering if you could play that song again. * Radio DJ: the phone Hmmm... which one, man? * Mr. Krabs: The one that goes "bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-beep." * Radio DJ: No, man. You're thinking of "bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-bop." * Mr. Krabs: Bee-boo-boo-boo-boo-bop, telephone noise bee-boo-boo-bop, telephone noise boo-boo-bee-bop? telephone noise Not bee-boo-boo-beep? telephone noise Bop?telephone noise Beep?! telephone noise Boo-boo-bop?! screams * SpongeBob: Oh my gosh. Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds? Could it be that he's...zooms in on him ...a robot? Nah. into the window again and sees Mr. Krabs doing a robot dance on his desk. He jumps onto Squidward's arms Oh, Squidward, it's terrible! Mr. Krabs... talking to radio... beeping sounds... strange dancing... robot! * Squidward: up SpongeBob off his arms That's great, SpongeBob. Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen! him in the kitchen. Squidward laughs, but SpongeBob reappears beside him. Squidward is confused and looks around for how he did it * SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward! Mr. Krabs is a robot. And I can prove it, too. * Squidward: confused How did you...? * SpongeBob: Let's see, in the movie the robots didn't have a sense of humor! They couldn't laugh. Hey, Mr. Krabs! * Mr. Krabs: up to the counter What is it, boy? * SpongeBob: Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you might like to hear it. * Mr. Krabs: Is it true, Squidward? Is it hilarious? * Squidward: Umm... yeah, sure. * Mr. Krabs: Well, let's hear it, lad. * SpongeBob: Okay, here it goes! Uhh, how'd it go Squidward? * Squidward: nervously Uhh, it went, umm, uhh, let's see, uhh... why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie? * Mr. Krabs: Why? * Squidward: It was rated "Arr!"laughing Arr! Because it's... about... pirates. * Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying you to do stand up, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work! * SpongeBob: gasps Not even a chuckle! See, Squidward? He didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh because he's... zooms in on him ...a robot! * Squidward: There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob. He's obviously heard it before. The only reason you think Krabs is a robot is because you watched that stupid movie. Now why don't you... * SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs! * Mr. Krabs: up to the counter again What? What is it, boy? * SpongeBob: Squidward's father never hugged him. Isn't that sad? to cry * Mr. Krabs: Yes, I suppose that is rather sad, but Squidward can hug himself during his break! Now get back to work! * SpongeBob: Just like the robot in the movie. He couldn't cry either. * Squidward: SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous. I'll have you know my father loved me very much! * SpongeBob: That's the final test, Squidward; the love test. Robots can't love. * Squidward: No, wait, SpongeBob! * SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs! * Mr. Krabs: up to the counter again What is it, SpongeBob?! * SpongeBob: I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you! Krabs makes a blank expression on his face * Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, Mr. Squidward. * SpongeBob: gulps Squidward? Krabs is at his desk writing something when the Brad Brock's sound radio stops working. Tim Garrity's Radio breaks with electronic breakage sound effect. * Mr. Krabs: Aw, me radio died! Guisetti's sound takes out the batteries Hmmm, these batteries still have a little juice in 'em. I know! I'll give 'em to Pearl for Christmas. Greco's sound puts the batteries in his back pocket. A bell rings and then Mr. Krabs walks over to a pot of boiling water Me hard-boiled egg is ready! Maydeck's sound picks up a pair of tongs I can already taste it. Come to Papa. the egg out of the water with his tongs Got ya! And what good is a hot-boiled egg without a little salt? up a pinch of salt * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! * Mr. Krabs: the egg and accidentally tosses the full salt shaker into his eyes Ooouuuccchhhh! Oh, the eyes!crying * SpongeBob: Mr... puts his hand over SpongeBob's mouth * Squidward: Will you be quiet? Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like? * SpongeBob: Well, they had piercing blue eyes, metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries. * Squidward: Okay, so tell me, does Mr. Krabs’ first dollar look anything like that?! * Mr. Krabs: E. Oyabe's sound Barges out crying; his eyes are piercing red, his pair of the tongs snip, then it shows the batteries in his pocket * SpongeBob & Squidward: screaming * Mr. Krabs: screaming as he goes into the Jessa Arruda's sound bathroom * Squidward: I'll evacuate the customers, you call the navy! * SpongeBob: over to the phone Hello, Operator? Get me the Navy! * Operator: Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service. * SpongeBob: Squidward, the robots are running the Navy! * Squidward: Not the Navy! loudspeaker Attention, everyone, run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world! is silent Our world! the customers run out screaming What do we do now? * SpongeBob: I don't know! a nickel Hey, a nickel! points at it * Squidward: SpongeBob. * SpongeBob: Sorry. * Mr. Krabs: out of the bathroom, his eyes back to normal Ah, that's better. back to his office''Bee-boo-boo-boo-bee-bop, boo-boo-bop. * '''Squidward:' We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how? * SpongeBob: Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot. * Squidward: They poop on the robot? * SpongeBob: Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information. * Squidward: I never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob, let's get that poop! [grabs the book titled ''How To Torture and reads it with SpongeBob. SpongeBob grabs some rope while Squidward grabs a hammer and a saw. SpongeBob also grabs some old comedy records. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' office, where SpongeBob & Squidward enter]'' * Mr. Krabs: Oh, hello, boys. are at the door with angry expressions on their faces What can I do for you? & Squidward lock the door, making Mr. Krabs look nervous Heh-heh, why did you lock the door? nervously Why do you have that rope? Who's watching the cash register?! of outside the Krusty Krab where loud crashing and everyone screaming can be heard. Back in the office, Squidward ties Mr. Krabs to his office chair SpongeBob! Squidward! What's the meaning of this?! Untie me this instant! * Squidward: Shut up! Mr. Krabs * Mr. Krabs: Sweet Davy Jones, what the heck is going on?! * Squidward: I said "shut up!," you bucket of bolts! him again * SpongeBob: I can't take it! off, crying * Squidward: SpongeBob, are you okay? * SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that is just too horrible to watch! * Squidward: No, that's not Mr. Krabs. That's Robot Krabs. Krabs is trying to get out of his chair * SpongeBob: Oh, yeah. * Squidward: And the only way to deal with these robot types is to find out what they know. * SpongeBob: Right. up to Mr. Krabs and then slaps him * Squidward: SpongeBob, you got to ask him a question first. * SpongeBob: Oh, yeah. What color is my underwear? him again * Squidward: SpongeBob, let me handle this. a light on Mr. Krabs Where's Mr. Krabs? * Mr. Krabs: confused What are you talking about? I'm Mr. Krabs. slaps him again * Squidward: We can do this all night if you want. Where's Mr. Krabs? * Mr. Krabs: I'm Mr. Krabs. * SpongeBob: Where's Mr. Krabs? * Mr. Krabs: I'm Mr. Krabs. * Squidward: Where's Mr. Krabs? * Mr. Krabs: I am Mr. Krabs! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! * SpongeBob: This is one stubborn robot. * Mr. Krabs: then angrily yells What?! yelling knocks over the light and SpongeBob You think I'm a robot?! * Squidward: We don't think; we know. * Mr. Krabs: That's the silliest thing I ever heard! I am Mr. Krabs! * Squidward: over to SpongeBob He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way. * SpongeBob: I got an idea. Squidward's nose Keep an eye on him, Squidward. Don't fall for any of his robot tricks. out and returns later If Robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is, maybe one of his little robot friends will. up a blender * Squidward: SpongeBob, uhh, that's a blender. * SpongeBob: Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before. He called it his "little buddy." * Squidward: Oh, really? Put it on the table, SpongeBob. * Mr. Krabs: You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy. * Squidward: We're just gonna see what your "little buddy" knows. sets the blender on Mr. Krabs' desk. Squidward holds up a bat * Mr. Krabs: panicking No, wait! What are you going to do with me blender?! That cost me money! * Squidward: Where's Mr. Krabs? of the blender Not talking, eh? the blender with the bat * Mr. Krabs: No! That cost me $24.95! * SpongeBob: I guess it didn't know anything. * Squidward: Go get the toaster. gets the toaster then puts it on Mr. Krabs' desk * Mr. Krabs: No, not me toaster. That cost me $32.50! breaks the toaster and then SpongeBob sets a food processor on the desk $62.67! breaks it with the bat. SpongeBob picks up a coffee maker and puts it on the desk Four... well, actually, that one was a gift. breaks it Nooo! * SpongeBob: trying to put the cash register on Mr. Krabs' desk This is the last robot, Squidward. * Mr. Krabs: No, not my cash register! I raised it myself. I got it when it was just a little calculator. crying''No! ''and then sobbing louder * Squidward: I thought you said robots can't cry. * SpongeBob: I also said they couldn't love. * Mr. Krabs: crying I loved it like it was me own. * SpongeBob: Uh, at least he's not laughing. * Mr. Krabs: Oh, I remember the laughs we used to share! sobbing * Squidward: SpongeBob uhh, how did that movie of yours end? * SpongeBob: The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great! Turns out there weren't any robots after all. It was just their... down, as he realizes his mistake imagination. nervously, timpani noise, as if he anticipates Squidward to be angry at him, then checks his watch Hey, it's time to feed Gary. out while Squidward smiles nervously at Mr. Krabs and then grabs a broom and sweeps the broken pieces on the floor. Mr. Krabs becomes infuriated * Mr. Krabs: The background shakes Squidward! Category:Transcripts